The late, great comedian, Sam Kinison once gave this advice to anyone thinking of purchasing a rap CD by "Too Live Crew".... Take fifteen dollars out of your pocket - have it changed into all singles - go to the bathroom and sit down - when you are finished - use the Dollar bills to clean yourself."
That way you would be putting the money to a better use.
With that advice as an introduction - I will tell you about the movie - 'Eyes Wide Shut.'
As I mentioned to my friend, Dr. Paul Bitting "up" in Raleigh - one Charlotte critic tried to see great philosophical insights in this film - Tom Cruise's journey to discover his inner-self and the meaning of life ---- I can only refer you to Sam Kinison's sage advice.
As Matt Arnold, a former student, so well analyzed it - there are plenty of naked / neked women in this film ....that is a good thing.
Now, watching a movie or TV show, I will see a female with the measurements of 36-24-36 ---- Marilyn (my late wife) would inform me every time that, "they" are not real.
Now, I have only been on the earth 54 years - I don't know everything and I don't know everybody, but I do know this - I have yet to meet the guy who cares if "they" are real or not -----if "they" are there and you can see them - isn't that what is called reality---- and isn't reality real?
The women in this film are super, but that does not make it a good film.
There are a few fine scenes in this film - the best way to find the good scenes are to avoid any with Nicole Kidman in them, especially if she has clothes on and is talking - but a few decent scenes does not make a good movie.
A plot and some motivation and a few compelling moments would help to make a movie good, this film does not have even a small number of these elements.
It tries to be 'The Game' and is not as good. It tries to have hold you like 'The Usual Suspects', but it can't. It tries to show you the high society life like 'Gatsby' or 'Wall Street,' it doesn't work.
It tries to have the famous hooker with a heart of gold, that theme almost works - except, you are asked to believe that a street walker in New York City is not interested in charging her clients, not interested in the money - in New York City.
She is just looking to meet interesting people and invite them to her apartment to converse about world affairs and the dangers surrounding the status of the ozone layer, at one o'clock in the morning.
It could happen, it could be true, just as your purchasing of the Brooklyn Bridge could be a reality.
The bottom line is plainly this - the emperor doesn't have new clothes, the emperor, like most of the women in this film, is naked / neked.
Only the fact that Stanley Kubrick directed this 'c' at best movie, is causing folks to even talk about it at all.
Kubrick must have hated Nicole, because no actress alive could have made her scenes work - they are about the worse scenes I have ever viewed without Melanie Griffith being on the screen.
If you can tell me that her dancing scene and her two bedroom scenes are not pitiful - except for a limited part where she talks about "the sailor" - I can speed up that deal on the Brooklyn Bridge for you.
It's a 'c' movie - watch it if you will - the women are really fantastic - even if "they" are not real - "they" may be worth the price of admission, but don't try to make this out to be Moby Dick. Cooley High, hell, Airplane and Animal House were much more philosophical motion pictures.

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