MASTER AND COMMANDER

1. EARLIER TODAY, A FORMER HIGH SCHOOL CLASSMATE ASKED ME IF I SEND MY REVIEWS TO NEWSPAPERS -- I TOLD HER I DON'T REALLY WRITE REVIEWS, I WRITE REACTIONS. A REVIEW REQUIRES MORE WORK THAN I AM WILLING TO PUTTING INTO THE TASK.
2. ABOUT TEN YEARS AGO, IN CHARLOTTE, I CALLED A PARENT TO EXPLAIN THAT HER VERY BRIGHT DAUGHTER WAS NOT PASSING MY PSYCHOLOGY OR LAW CLASS.

THE MOTHER TOLD ME THAT, I WAS THE GIRL'S FAVORITE TEACHER AND THAT THERE WAS A REASON THE GIRL NEVER ANSWERED A QUESTION. MOM THEN EXPLAINED THAT HER CHILD FELT I WAS THE SMARTEST PERSON SHE EVER MET AND SHE WAS NOT WORTHY TO SPEAK TO ME - NOTHING SHE COULD SAY WAS ON MY INTELLECTUAL LEVEL.
I EXPLAINED TO THE MOTHER THAT, IF I WAS SO SMART, I WOULD HAVE FOUND A WAY TO ACHIEVE MY GOAL, WHICH WAS TO HAVE THE STUDENT PASS MY CLASS.

HER FAILURE TO SPEAK UP WAS THE PROOF THAT I WAS NOT SMART ENOUGH TO DO MY JOB CORRECTLY AND SINCE I WAS THE ONLY CLASS SHE WAS FAILING, ALL THE OTHER TEACHERS WERE SMART ENOUGH TO DO THAT WHICH I COULD NOT DO.
THE NEXT DAY THE YOUNG LADY GAVE A GOOD ANSWER AND SAILED ON THRU FROM THERE TO AN 'A' GRADE.
I COULD NOT EVEN BE FLATTERED BY HER REMARK, SINCE SHE WAS STILL A FEW YEARS AWAY FROM VOTING AGE AND NO ONE ABOVE VOTING AGE SEEMED TO SHARE HER EXTREME VIEW OF MY THOUGHT PROCESS.
3. LINCOLN'S GETTYSBURG ADDRESS IS MOSTLY ABOUT THE FACT THAT LINCOLN WAS NOT WORHTY OF GIVING THE ADDRESS - THAT HE PALED IN STATURE WHEN COMPARED WITH THE DEEDS OF THE BRAVE MEN, LIVING AND DEAD, WHO HAD FOUGHT SO NOBILY ON THAT FIELD - LINCOLN WAS NOT WORTHY OF THE HONOR OF PUTTING THEIR BRAVERY INTO WORDS OR PERSPECTIVE.

AS I DROVE HOME FROM SEEING MASTER AND COMMANDER, THESE THREE THOUGHTS DOMINATED MY MIND ---
1. I CAN ONLY GIVE MY REACTION TO THIS PICTURE --- IT WILL STAND, ON EQUAL FOOTING, NEXT TO LAWRENCE OF ARABIA, BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWIA - GLORY - SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, YOU GET MY DRIFT.
2. IF I WAS REALLY SMART, I MIGHT HAVE FOUND THE FLAW IN THIS PICTURE, BUT THE ONLY FLAW I COULD COME UP WITH WAS THIS --- IT ENDED - I WOULD GLADLY HAVE REMAINED IN THE THEATRE AT LEAST FIVE OR SIX MORE HOURS, BEFORE SEEKING AN INTERMISSION AND THEN GOING ON FOR MORE.
3. WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT HUMAN BEINGS, PEOPLE WHO EAT,SLEEP AND GO TO THE BATHROOM, WERE ABLE TO BLEND THEIR TALENTS INTO THIS MASTERPIECE-- YOU HAVE TO BE HUMBLED. YOU HAVE TO MARVEL AT THEIR TALENT AND THEIR PURITY OF PURPOSE AND THEIR CLARITY OF THOUGHT. THEY TOLD A STORY - THEY DID NOT THROW IN A TEENAGE DEMOGRAPHIC OR A FEMALE DEMOGRAPHIC OR A POLITICALLY CORRECT DEMOGRAPHIC ELEMENT - WHICH WAS THE DOWNFALL OF GANGS OF NEW YORK.
THIS FILM REMAINS TRUE TO ITS THEME - AND THAT THEME IS TO TELL AN ADVENTURE STORY, FROM START TO MIDDLE TO END - THIS IS AN ADVENTURE STORY -- THIS IS A TURN BACK THE CLOCK TO ERROL FLYNN, OLD SCHOOL ADVENTURE.
LIKE LINCOLN, THERE IS NOTHING IN MY RESUME THAT HAS PREPARED ME TO DEAL WITH THIS LEVEL OF HUMAN PERFECTION -- GIVE ME A PICTURE WHERE THEY ARE SCREWING UP AND I CAN FIND ALL THE FLAWS, GIVE ME THE MONA LISA AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN WHAT I HAVE BEEN PRIVILEGED TO VIEW.
THERE IS NO ELEMENT OF THIS FILM I CAN SINGLE OUT FOR SPECIAL RECOGNITION - IT IS MAGNIFICENT IN EVERY ELEMENT AND ASPECT; FROM THE FIRST MOMENT TO THE VERY CUTE ( AND I SELDOM USE THAT WORD ) ENDING - WHICH INVITES A SEQUEL - BUT I DON'T THINK THEY CAN GET THIS GREAT CAST TOGETHER AGAIN AND THAT IS SAD.